Erodite in Practice—Making Values My Business
I never set out to be a business owner. I set out to do something I love and that I’m good at.
But there weren’t a lot of (read: any) job listings out there that read, “Looking for a therapist who specializes in queer, kinky, and non-monogamous clients, wants to help others find their version of authentic sexuality, and is also an educator that wants to write and create educational content. Will pay handsomely.”
So, that left me with the option to create it myself.
I’ve got the therapy side of things covered over at Multitudes, but my sex education baby, Erodite, is where I’m freer. For good and for ill, “coaching” and sex education are not regulated professions. To make sure I’m doing good work here in the wild west of coaching, I have a few guiding values that I abide by in my business practices and my educational content.
In this article you’ll find:
Values that inform my coaching and educational content
Knowledge
Nuance
Client-Centering
Creativity
Values that inform my business practice
Consent
Leveraging Privilege
Inclusivity
Boundaries
Values that inform my coaching and educational content
The following values are ones I aim to infuse specifically in my client-facing work: knowledge, nuance, client-centering, and creativity. And how do I do that? Read on!
Knowledge
Knowledge is a pillar of Erodite. The name of the business reflects this, coming from the word erudite, which means “having or showing great knowledge or learning”.
In a field where anyone can call themselves a coach or educator, it’s important to me that what I provide my clients is informed and researched.
This means you can rest assured that you’re not getting fluff, made up “facts”, or scam-y upselling. If I’m using personal or professional experience as a source, you’ll know. That way, you can determine for yourself the credibility of the information. (Ope, getting a sneak peak at the consent value I talk about below!)
Nuance
I aim to encapsulate nuance in my work. This means that our coaching takes you into account. Individuals are just that—individual.
For example, my non-monogamous clients are going to have certain considerations that my monogamous clients won’t, and vice versa. My therapy background really helps here, providing me with the training and experience of tailoring “interventions” to the client.
Recognizing intersectionality (of sexual/relational identities, gender, race, ability, age, neurotype, trauma history, etc.) is a vital component to effective work, and that perspective informs the coaching I provide.
Client-Centering
Some therapists and coaches will come to session with a plan and insist you follow it. That’s not how I operate.
I “center the client” which means that if you come in for a coaching session and tell me you want to focus on X, but I’ve prepared to talk about Y, I’ll gladly set my work aside to address X.
I want you to get what you want out of our sessions. I may be the sexuality expert, but you are the you expert, and I’d be a fool to assume I knew you better than you knew you.
Creativity
The ability to be creative is a driving force behind the existence of Erodite. Coaching and providing educational tools independently means I have a bigger sandbox to play in, and man do I love to play.
Sexuality is as far from one-size-fits-all as you can get, which means creative solutions are a must. Where knowledge, nuance, and client-centering meet, creative ideas are born.
Anyone can pick up a self-help book, but I find that what we often need is innovative, tailored, informed ideas, and that just might be my favorite thing to do.
Values that inform my business practices
How do I run Erodite? How much do I charge? How do I market myself? How do I handle mistakes? How do I keep myself safe given the focus on sex in my work? In short, I consider these values: consent, leveraging privilege, inclusivity, and boundaries (among others!).
Read more about each below.
Consent
Consent is a priority in sex, and also at Erodite. It may be more obvious how consent informs the work I do with clients (educating others how to have consent-based conversations, making consent sexy, getting consent to discuss sensitive topics, providing content advisories, etc.), but it is perhaps less obvious how consent informs the business.
An easy example is marketing emails. I will always require your consent before adding you to an email list, and you will aways have the ability to withdraw that consent at any time. No sneaky “You downloaded this free resource, so now you’re committed to years of spam from me. Muahahaha.”
Consent also informs the coaching paperwork and descriptions of content I provide. For example, if you work with me as a coach, you’ll see an “Informed Consent” section of the intake paperwork. It’s important to me that you know what you’re agreeing to and can give consent from an informed place.
Leveraging Privilege
It’s also important to me to acknowledge and leverage my privilege in my business. I am lucky enough to be in a position where I don’t need this income for survival. Leveraging this privilege and providing my goods and services at lower costs and sliding scales helps me be in alignment with my values.
While business books try to tell me that I’m devaluing myself, my training, and my education by offering coaching and education for “less than market value”, I simply don’t believe that. This comes with boundaries, of course (more on that below), but ultimately, if this privilege is worth anything, it’s in its allowance to ease the (financial) burdens of others.
Inclusivity
Frankly, this value should be a given, but it’s an unfortunate reality that it can’t be assumed. So let me state this clearly: Erodite does not discriminate based on race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, relational orientation, disability, religion, age, neurotype, relational make-up, sexual practices, etc.
When setting up business practices, I try to make sure I’m considering the experiences and needs of others. This looks like inclusive paperwork (not requiring you to select “male” or “female”, not assuming heterosexuality or monogamy in questions, etc.), offering sliding scales, and flexible scheduling policies (such as a no-questions-asked late cancel allowance).
If there are ways I can improve, that is feedback I’m happy to receive. You can send any feedback you have here.
Boundaries
Many of my guiding values are focused on helping others as best as I can, but I need to protect myself, too. So, I’m often thinking of ways to implement boundaries that keep this work sustainable and safe.
These boundaries can’t be a full privacy fence because then I couldn’t connect with people effectively. But they also can’t be non-existent, leaving me vulnerable. My boundaries are like a nice chain-link fence, if you will.
As an example of a business boundary—if someone wants to contact Erodite, I require consent for Erodite to reply. If someone doesn’t consent to a reply, they can’t contact me. Because some will use my profession as an excuse to send harassing messages, I require consent to reply for self-protection. It ensures I can address these messages as I do not tolerate harassment.
Also, as mentioned, I do maintain boundaries around money matters. As a staunch optimist, a valuer of accessibility, and believer in people, I keep my policies flexible. But without boundaries I’m prey to bad actors, so I stick to the policies as written.
A girl’s gotta draw a line somewhere, and I draw the lines where I need to to keep this work sustainable.
Making Values My Business
I’ve laid out my values in a way that I don’t see many businesses doing. It feels really vulnerable, but, as it turns out, transparency is another business value of mine.
I hope this has helped you determine your interest in working with Erodite. If you have any questions, have feedback, or want to work with Erodite, please contact me here.