How is sex coaching different from sex therapy?
Phew! You’ve searched the internet high and low. And now, finally, you’ve found yourself on the page of someone who is both a licensed therapist and a sex coach. So let me answer your questions about what the f*ck the difference is between sex coaching and sex therapy—and help you decide which is right for you along the way!
In this article, you’ll find:
What is sex coaching?
What is sex therapy?
Similarities between sex coaching and sex therapy
The difference between sex coaching and sex therapy
Should I hire a sex coach or a sex therapist?
Pros and cons of sex coaching and sex therapy
Sex coaching with Erodite
If therapy is a better fit for you…
What is sex coaching?
Sex coaching will look different depending on the “coach”. The field of sex coaching is not regulated, so it is near impossible to describe what sex coaching is universally.
At Erodite, sex coaching is based in concrete goals, “homework” assignments, sex education, and direct suggestions. We discuss what you have tried in the past and what’s made it difficult to see the changes you want to see. (You can even follow these links to get a sneak peek at the coaching plan template and calendar template that are provided to coaching clients!)
Coaching is more about problem-solving, with a professional in your back pocket to make that process go smoother and quicker. You are encouraged to work independently and use coaching sessions to “troubleshoot”. Resources and education are also provided.
For a more in-depth article on what sex coaching is, check out this article.
What is sex therapy?
Put obviously, sex therapy is therapy for sexuality-related issues. Conducted by a licensed therapist, it can be done with individuals or those in relationships. Sex therapists are trained to work with trauma, sexual dysfunctions, and mental health diagnoses. It is often more clinical, meaning the therapist is providing “treatment” to help reduce symptoms and distress—but being clinical does not mean therapy is a cold or sterile environment by any means.
In fact, therapy often involves a deeper exploration of emotions. It may also provide a space for in-session practice of communication skills, coping skills, and identifying internal emotions and experiences.
Similarities between sex coaching and sex therapy
Both sex coaching and sex therapy aim to help you build skills and reduce distress and discomfort. Both want you to experience more enjoyment and authenticity in your sexuality.
They should also both be conducted by someone educated in the field of sexuality who can, in turn, fill in gaps in your own education as necessary. (And, at least at Erodite, you can rest assured this is true!) They both should “meet you where you’re at” and aim to help you achieve your goals.
The difference between sex coaching and sex therapy
Sex coaching, as it is done with Erodite, is more direct and homework- and suggestion-oriented, whereas sex therapy typically involves a more in-depth exploration (often in addition to homework). With sex coaching there is an expectation that you will be doing the bulk of the work independently and outside of session.
Sex therapy should involve an intake/assessment process that covers relationship history, mental health history, trauma history, etc. While a good sex coach will also understand the importance of these influences, the coaching itself is more about equipping you with ways to explore that on your own. If I were to be so bold as to summarize a main difference between sex coaching and sex therapy, I’d say… Coaching provides you with the tools to do the work on your own, while therapy is the work.
The other main difference is the regulation and credentialing surrounding both fields. While sex therapists could provide sex coaching as part of therapy, sex coaches can’t provide sex therapy as part of coaching. Yea, I needed to read that sentence a few times, too.
Should I hire a sex coach or a sex therapist?
Who you seek out and hire depends on what you are looking for.
Consider hiring a sex coach if…
you want to work more independently.
you’re looking for something brief or just want to “pick a professional’s brain”.
you feel things are going pretty well in other areas of your life.
your relationships feel healthy overall.
you’re not sure if you want to pursue therapy.
you want direct suggestions.
Consider hiring a sex therapist if…
you want a space to process your emotions and explore things in more depth.
your relationships are impacted by other significant factors (communication difficulties, high conflict, past trauma, etc.).
you want longer term work.
you want someone to guide you through “doing the work”.
Pros and cons of sex coaching and sex therapy
Still not sure what is right for you? Let’s talk about the pros and cons of both approaches.
Pros of sex coaching
Goal-oriented and focused
Typically brief, which may be more cost effective
Provides tailored education and resources
Freedom to “do the work” more independently
Focuses on concrete homework assignments
Cons of sex coaching
No regulation around “coaching”
Coaches don’t need any education or special credentials to claim to be a coach
Not a lot of space to process feelings
Not covered by insurance
Pros of sex therapy
Therapy is regulated, meaning therapists need to meet training/education requirements to become therapists
More research around therapy and “evidence-based” treatment
May be covered by insurance
Allows for more in-depth work
Can be brief or long term depending on what you’re looking for
Cons of sex therapy
Difficulty finding providers who are available, may need to get on a waitlist
May be more expensive if not covered by insurance
May not know if therapist is comfortable working with sexuality if they aren’t specialized in it
Sex coaching with Erodite
Sex coaching at Erodite gives you the best of both worlds: coaching by a licensed therapist.
As a licensed therapist, I’ve completed extensive education and training (you can vet my credentials here!). I have an additional master’s degree in human sexuality on top of my therapist training, as well as a therapy practice where I specialize in therapy for queer, kinky, and non-monogamous individuals.
You can get a sneak peek at what you would be provided as a coaching client by checking out these templates: Coaching Plan Template, Coaching Calendar Template.
If you are interested in sex coaching, you can check out Erodite’s services offered here.
If therapy is a better fit for you…
…and you live in Wisconsin, Michigan, or Illinois, consider Multitudes Therapy Practice, where I offer the therapy side of things.
If you are interested in sex coaching, or if you’re not quite sure if it’s right for you, schedule a free consult here.
A consultation can help you decide if sex coaching, sex therapy, or just a simple resource is right for you.